When was the last time you celebrated a personal achievement or victory? How long has it been since you paid yourself a heartfelt complement? How often do you root for yourself? Are you your own biggest fan?
What about the converse? How much time do you spend being critical of yourself? When was the last time you beat yourself up for making a mistake? Perhaps you procrastinated again after promising yourself that you would be more disciplined. It could be that you cheated on your diet. Maybe it was some other failure or mistake that influenced your decision to treat yourself in an unfairly harsh way.
Would you agree that everyone experiences good days and bad days? Okay, so you agree. Great! Well, there are those who argue that there is no such thing as a bad day—some days are just better than others. This idea does make sense, doesn’t it? But it still leaves a person in the same predicament, which is having to decide what constitutes a good day or a bad day. And herein lies the problem.
The fact is, there is no such thing as a good or bad day. A day (on Earth) is a unit of time—roughly 24 hours—during which the Earth completes one rotation with respect to the Sun. The only thing that is good or bad about a day is our thinking and our perception of events.
You have to believe in yourself. Don’t look to others for approval.
For example, if someone gets into an automobile accident, that person most often justifies the accident as a day gone awry. It gets worse if a family member or friend dies—then that person is really having a bad day. The converse is also true. Co-workers in an office lottery pool learn that they have won the Mega Millions jackpot. Most people would say that they are having an extremely lucky day.
This principle is also at work in the manner by which we view ourselves. If we meet certain goals or milestones, we feel good about ourselves. And if we fall short of external or self-imposed expectations, our default mode is to self-censure. But that still does not fully explain why we choose to either celebrate or disparage the self. So, let us dig a little deeper.
In order for a person to self-actualize or experience continued and sustained growth toward his or her full potential and possibilities, several things need to come together. That is, self-worth (what you think about yourself), self-image (how you see yourself) and the ideal self (who you desire to become) have to be in congruence and fully functioning internally.
It is only at that intersection that you are able to become your biggest fan. In other words, when you get to the place where you are in touch with your feelings and experiences and continually growing and changing, it is at that point that you are best equipped to construct a representation of reality that can adapt to change and adjust to life—without assigning labels of good or bad.
How do you develop the habit of becoming your biggest fan?
- You have to believe in yourself. Don’t look to others for approval.
- You must do the work. Rather than wait for an opportunity, create the opportunity.
- Learn from your mistakes without fault-finding or self-blame.
- Celebrate small victories. It is okay to showcase your victories—both big and small.
- Set your own standards. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Please let us know how you are being your own biggest fan.