Personal Development

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

What do you do when life comes at you at one hundred miles per hour? What do you do when everything seems to be working against you? How should you react when you have done all of the “right” things, yet you are no closer to reaching your goals? How do you know when it is time to give up on something? And how do you determine when it is time to persevere?  

While there are not any simple answers to those questions, if you are beating yourself up for not being where you imagined yourself to be, then you are setting yourself up for the big let down. In fact, if you have allowed regret and guilt to set up residence in your mind, then you have already lost. If you continue to rehearse the pains of the past, the discomfort of the present and the uncertainty of the future, then you have already failed.

The reality is, life does not give a shit about your feelings or whether you were able to accomplish your goals within a specific time frame. Life does not care that you had the best intentions and well laid-out plans. Life is not overly concerned that you have been grinding for years but never caught the BIG break. Life is not troubled that you have experienced one frustration after another and one setback after another.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows.

Life is not bothered by your failure. You see, failure is not something you can measure or define with the utmost precision. Yes, you can retrace a process or identify a bottleneck within a process, but failure is often convoluted and is exacerbated by unseen and unknown variables. Setbacks operate on similar principles. 

The point here, is, where your focus goes, your energy flows. If you focus on the setbacks you encounter, then it is on the foundation of setbacks you will build your future. Likewise, if you erect a monument to failure, then it is at that altar you will worship. And the very thing you dread—setback and failure—will become your god. 

Just in case you did not receive “the memo,” I would like to share a passage from it with you, which says…

Accept where you are in life. Yes, you have made some mistakes—maybe lots of them (as I have)—but camping in the place of the “mistakes” only keeps you there, and that is in the camp of mistakes. So, pack your bags, fold your tent, and get back on the trail of life and live the phenomenal life you were meant to live. 

The next time you find things are not going your way and are tempted to think defeating thoughts—RISE UP—and remember, life is about the climb. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Pause often to celebrate the small victories. And don’t get your self-esteem wrapped up in results. Success takes time. You will eventually become an overnight success after many years of dedicated work and effort. 


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34 thoughts on “Don’t Beat Yourself Up

  1. Very nice article. I enjoy your work and appreciate your support. I have a couple of books in the making. Do you think I could be a published successful author or am I too sketchy and not talented enough? You’ve read enough of my stuff. Please share your opinion. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And heck yeah! Your content comes from a genuine place of overcoming. “More Love, Less Hate.” Your experience is one many women and couples can identify with. And even if you choose to write in a different genre, you are more than capable and talented to pen a best-seller. So, let’s make it happen.


      1. You are welcome. Not to belabor any point. But the key is to start…and that is when you will discover the “how.” A platform that many would be authors use to publish their work is Amazon’s KDP ( Kindle Direct Publishing). Many, many authors have gone on to make millions of dollars via this platform. I have used it (have not made millions yet) and found it easy to navigate.


    2. Pardon me for butting in but I just wanted to encourage you, Sadi. As a bookworm, I’ve read some amazing books as well as some mediocre ones. Not every book I’ve read was the greatest book ever. The difference between aspiring writers and published authors is that the published ones didn’t stop until they got their writing to their audience. J.K. Rowling submitted her work to a dozen publishers before Harry Potter series was picked up. I hope you decide to just share your work, share it with the world, no matter what happens afterwards.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I’m glad I read this one today. Definitely needed some cheering up and encouragement. Keep on sharing, it’s a blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s ironic how we always seem to think people are overnight successes no matter how many times they tell us they’ve been hustling for a long time. Even child prodigies got that way from working hard. That’s the only way one can succeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ‘Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Pause often to celebrate the small victories.’ – my favorite way of being 🙂 So much of what we look at as failure is about self-acceptance and reflection on where we are putting our focus. You bring this home very well!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. When I read this post the picture that came to my mind was that of a ship that had just sited land. If you look at you current position, you can talk loads of how far you still are. But if you look to that piece of land, you won’t be able to see where you are only that piece of land and the water in between. The problem that looks most of us in the face is the fact that we all started the journey after seeing the land. But that’s okay. That’s the picture when you follow a dream. Life doesn’t care because it’s no human being. It’s an experience which is ‘unique every step of the way’. So it’s just okay if you have nothing to look back to. You always have the land.

    And by the way, the picture is amazing, Josiah. I’ve always loved lions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Stefan, you think like a philosopher. I hope you plan on writing a book soon…like real soon. For example, this response you just wrote has profound life lessons attached to it and can be developed in so many ways.

      Liked by 1 person

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