How do you stop yourself from partaking in something that is right in front of you? I mean—look at her, with her shapely body, dark golden complexion and kissable lips—Lawdamercy! Look at him—tall, chiseled like a Greek god and smiling at you, as if to say, “Come with me, I’m all yours.”
Wow, don’t you just want to eat it—the delectable food, that is. If you could just taste, maybe touch and experience it—just have him…I mean, it, all to yourself—whatever it is.
Why is it so hard to resist the very things that might be bad for our mental, physical and spiritual health? You know Mr. Right is really Mr. Unemployed and Wanna Have a Good Time, but you desire to share a moment with him and deal with the guilt later. You are staring her down and know she is a gold-digger, but that’s not stopping you from taking the plunge.
What is it about self-control that makes it so difficult to depend on? Hmmm…
You know, self-control is not that difficult to practice when you really think about it. Self-control or discipline, boils down to giving yourself a command and following it. Discipline is trading the short-term pleasure for long-term happiness. Discipline is living like no one else today, so that you can live like no one else in the future.
The key to living a disciplined life is to love yourself enough to always choose the best option—the option that has lasting and positive value. The reason many of us struggle with discipline or self-control is because we try to control things that are beyond our ability to control.
For example, the biological imperative of every healthy and normally-functioning adult human is to have sex—to procreate. But sex, as wonderful as it is, when practiced outside of the right environmental, social and socioeconomic context, can lead to a host of issues to the point of compromising one’s long-term physical and emotional well-being.
So, the key is not to control the behavior or the self. The key is to love yourself enough—giving yourself the best opportunities to thrive.
Excellent advice. It sounds like me when I’m talking to my kids. I know so may people who claim that can’t find a nice man or woman, yet continue to make bad choices.
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Thank you. I think if we deploy more patience, we’ll eventually get what it is we are seeking.
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“discipline is living today like no one else does today, so you can live like no one else does in the future.” Couldn’t agree more, and very well put.
I feel often times when I know I’m about to indulge in whatever I know its wrong, and that I should exercise restraint, but rationalize it. Like gratitude, definitely a practice and something I hope to acquire more of as life goes on.
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I appreciate the value you have added to the discussion.
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Are immediate gratification and self-love mutually exclusive then?
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Not necessarily. The context gives meaning to each of those variables by itself or them working in concert.
And…immediate gratification could be applied in a tasteful and positive manner.
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I think it depends on the value extracted from the gratification. There are some sorts of immediate gratification than can add to self-love, complimenting someone and seeing their reaction and feeling good afterwards, endorphins released after working out, getting something done that you’d been procrastinating etc. Then there’s immediate gratification from the ”seeing that person you shouldn’t be getting with at the club and going anyways” example Josiah used. Or other ways when giving into the urge takes away from how you’ll view yourself afterwards. It depends on the motive of what you’re doing to make yourself happy and whether what you’re doing will actually do so in alignment with your values.
And thanks Josiah 🙂
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Very nicely put, Josiah. If I may add another idea to ponder on.. one’s morals are on the line, just as one’s inner being’s energy. Each time one gives in to lust and the fleeting moment of passion, one is exchanging the energy field of the other with your own. There is then much more work to be done to cleanse that “psychic pollution”, so to speak. True love, however has complimentary energy. I hope you understand what I am trying to say.
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Beautifully captured!
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Awesome! Thought provoking post. There is discipline in all of us but it’s up to us to bring it out.
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You said it! I love it!
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You are so right. A pox on you, Cake!
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Thank you. 🙂
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