Paradigm Shift · Personal Development

Why It’s Okay Not to be in Love

Here’s an idea that might come as a surprise to many. It is okay not to be in love with everything you do.

I exercise at least five days a week, but I have yet to fall in love with any aspect of my exercise routine. Are there tremendous mental and physical benefits that come from regular exercise and physical activity (and adequate rest)? Absolutely. Can exercise lead to a happier and healthier you? Yes, without exception. But that does not mean I have to love it.

I also dislike rising early from my beauty slumber, and by early, I mean before 10 AM. There are days, however, when it is necessary to rise with the sun in order to maximize certain opportunities. That’s just the way of life and it is up to me to adapt. 

All of what I’ve said to this point brings me to the following. One of the struggles many people face as it relates to achieving high levels of success is attaching feelings of deep affection to an activity or goal. 

That is, in order for some folks to get going—to give 100%—to go all in, they must like or love what they’re doing, you know, that job, that career, that coworker, that boss, or those short-term goals. 

The reality is, there are times when in order to accomplish your long-term goal, you’re going to have to disconnect your feelings, at least temporarily, while you engage in certain activities. There will also be times when it will be necessary to tolerate certain individuals if you desire to get ahead.

Take, for example, there are those who do not particularly like working for any employer. They don’t like being told when to come to work or when to leave. They do not like not having control as to if and when they can use their earned vacation days. These individuals don’t want to be punished or treated unfairly because they disagreed with their boss. But regardless of whether someone likes being an employee, that person’s focus should be on exploring intelligent ways to mine maximum value from being employed. 

So here is the heart of the matter. Likability should not be the metric used to determine: (1) whether to pursue a success initiative, or (2) how well you perform at a given task.    

Commit to excellence regardless of where you find yourself in life. And do not underestimate the value of a given moment as that moment has the potential to change your life in unexpected ways.

Since you’re here…

…I wrote a book that explores the ethical and moral consequences of indifference and social intolerance. The aim of Choose Love Not Hate is to spark a national conversation about tolerance, diversity, and inclusion. It would mean the world to me if you ordered a copy of Choose Love Not Hate today. Thank you. 

Choose Love Not Hate - 3D



11 thoughts on “Why It’s Okay Not to be in Love

  1. I am really glad I dropped by to read this post. It spoke numerous volumes to me on different levels and yes, I may not like where I am at the moment/even be convenient with it and refuse to fall in love with it but that doesn’t stop the fact that I have to do every given task with the same tenacity I would have done should I have fallen in love with it.

    Nice read.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You really make some great points there. I have always been taught to work hard and play hard, and give the very best of myself even if it’s just play. I heard in a movie that “we like because… And we love despite…” The things that we do not like become insignificant if they are for the one or two things we love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I enjoyed this very much! Thank you for your point of view! I always believed that being a person of integrity was doing your best at what ever was in front of you…being the best you (no matter what the circumstance or task was)! Thanks for opening up this conversation! It was very well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tina, I appreciate your expanded viewpoint! Novelist, Charles Simmons, once said, “Integrity is the first step to true greatness.” And as you aptly posited, why not live as the best version of you. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing this. I feel this way about work, exercise, and a lot of other things and people always have a way of judging me for not pretending to like everything I do. I agree, I don’t have to like everything! Doesn’t mean I don’t push through it anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s