Finding The Right Balance

When I started out the year, at the top of my writing goals were: (1) Dropping blog posts regularly; and (2) Releasing a book in the month of February.

So what happened? Well, in my defense, an unexplained cosmic phenomenon has occurred, which led to the unexpected, unanticipated, and premature arrival of March, which, based on my ca1cul4ti0n5, should not have been here for another forty-one days.

You should know that my noble intentions relating to my writing goals were just that—noble. For the first few days in January, everything seemed to be on track. I had prepared enough draft posts, sixty-seven to be exact, that were ready to be edited and sent out into the blogosphere. I was making progress on my book. Then voilà, March decided to make an early appearance. So unfair…this thing called time.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to speak on the idea of finding the right balance, or perhaps the struggle to find balance in a sea of change that includes relationships, career, health, spirituality, and other personal and professional goals.

How does one balance between one’s own needs and that of others? And why is finding balance in our lives so important, yet so difficult?

Personally, I can pinpoint the source that led to me not advancing my top two writing goals for 2019. I chose to prioritize my financial goals.

Although this is my 28th year since I have been in the workforce, this is only my second year earning a six-figure salary—my pie-in-the-sky dream—you know, having enough to order that extra avocado on my salad without worrying about how much it costs.

To be transparent, the novelty of earning more than I have ever earned is fun, fresh, and exhilarating. I love the feeling of being able to do more for my family than I have ever done. I love the pursuit and thrill of experiencing more.

The question, however, that’s before me is: How do I balance experiencing “more” while creating sacred space to do what I love, which is putting pen to paper?

How do you find or create balance in your own life? I would like to know your thoughts.

 

 

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20 thoughts on “Finding The Right Balance

  1. Good for you! Find tasty not the evil hold, of loving money more than life of old. For when you change, have not the time-then evil will commit its crimes… Beware of spiritual exchanges-loving to write, family & friends. Balance is key to blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rachael! Two words come to mind as I continue to reflect on the idea of balance. Those words are happiness and stress. If finding “balance” causes stress, then that pursuit is unhealthy. I imagine the converse to be true as well. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t see an issue. You’ve achieved a goal. You’re able to enjoy and share the benefits of that achievement. Did it require sacrifice? Yep, it sure did. Are you getting out of writing? It doesn’t sound like it to me. Consider the fact that the failure to achieve your writing goals are not based on excuses, but a REASON. The reason was you needed to focus on achieving another goal. You said that yourself in a way. Was the shift in priorities unexpected. Yeah, maybe. Opportunity knocked.
    The question to ask, though, is whether the achievement of that other goal was worth it. It sounds like it was worth it to you based on your post here. You seem to be enjoying it. Don’t belittle it by feeling like you failed somewhere else. It seems like you had to sacrifice your writing time for a bit if you were going to achieve your financial goal.
    I think achieving “balance” is an illusion. There are too many variables in life to allow what appears to be balance for long. Things happen. Opportunities come along. You have to make decisions about what you need and/or want to do based on the resources, time and opportunities you have at the time. Then in comes the proverbial curve ball, and whatever “balance” you thought you had goes right out the window.
    Can you try improving your time management? Try to eek out some efficiency somewhere that gives you some time to get back to your writing goals.
    The only thing I recommend is to always be honest with yourself and reach an understanding that you sometimes have to choose one thing over another. It is not always a pleasant thing to do. But there is only so much you can do each day. Some stuff has to wait until tomorrow. Other stuff might not get done at all. The trick to “balance”, I suppose is achieving what’s important to you and accepting that some things weren’t achieved, but knowing you made the best choice you could at the time.
    By the way, congratulations on the bump in pay. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Scott. I appreciate your powerful, evocative, and positive response. So much of what you shared resonated on a deep level. I especially liked: “Always be honest with yourself and reach an understanding that you sometimes have to choose one thing over another.”

      Truthfully, as of this moment, my financial goals take precedence over my writing goals, as achieving financial freedom will grant me (and has already provided) the flexibility to create new opportunities not only for myself but also for my family and community.

      I will continue, however, to find ways to improve my time management as you wisely recommended.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations on reaching for and grabbing a pie-in-the-sky goal! Sounds like celebrating that is a valuable reason to postpone, not cancel, some writing goals. I too am in a better financial position the past two years than before, which should give me more time to write. Unfortunately, it is because my father passed away and left me some money — I’d rather have Dad than the financial freedom, but I did not get to make that choice and am trying to live a life worthy of what I have been given. I left a job that was not satisfying financially or spiritually — not least because I discovered your blog about the same time and wanted to put more energy into a spiritual direction practice I had begun as a side gig. I find myself doing some more writing, some good work with my practice that I wouldn’t have been able to do before, but also spending far more time volunteering and trying to do good things in my community that others with more financial pressures cannot do. Sometimes, like it sounds like you’ve experienced, I wonder how I could prioritize so many other things over something I love to do — writing. For me, it seems like I’m wasting the freedom Dad’s death has given me. Until I really look at the balance you’re speaking of. In my spiritual journey, I am learning to pay attention to what is right in front of me right now. I don’t have to be silly about the future, but I also cannot plan for every eventuality. Instead I try to make the best next decision for my time, (my money, my effort, whatever) appreciate it, and count that as balanced. I was always afraid that if I did that, I’d spend all my time napping and binge-watching Netflix. Instead I find I do very little of that and lots of time doing good things for my family, my community, and even myself. I’m still overcoming the guilt of being able to do this, but I have faith that I wasn’t created to wallow in guilt. I don’t know if there’s anything helpful to you in thinking about balance, but those are my thoughts for tonight after reading your post. Happy writing when you get to it, and in the meantime, enjoy what you’re called to do right now!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mary, your response is a blog post in itself and a beautifully written one at that. The takeaways from what you so fittingly expressed are: “Enjoy what you’re called to do right now” and “try to make the best next decision for my time, (my money, my effort, whatever) appreciate it, and count that as balanced.” I love it!! Thank you.

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  4. I can so relate to this. I have set up way too much for myself to do and I’ve become overwhelmed by it. But balance seems to come for me in waves.

    Last Tuesday was amazing — I prepared for a big sleepover campout for our boys and their friends, alongside usual work, and I also wrote about 4000 words, by typing in 10 minute increments between the tasks I was doing. I don’t use that technique often enough. The two days of the actual event I hardly wrote at all what with all the people here. But those two days were magical for the boys, and thus for me as well (although it was a lot of work). Service to one’s family gives a lasting satisfaction that can’t be equalled. I guess that is a kind of balance. But now I’m at the end of the week and feeling upset that I lost the train of thought of what I was writing before, and I have so many other writing projects that I don’t know which to focus on. It’s hard to sort it all out. I’ve never been great at big-picture management when it comes to my own creativity.

    Anyway, loved reading your post because the best part is knowing that I think it’s a bit the same for all of us who write. I especially loved the first two paragraphs which made me nod and laugh. And now here I am this morning, commenting on blogs I follow instead of writing my own post on the same topic, as originally planned. ;)) But I think it’s nice to give a little in other places, as well. Ah well, balance, balance….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nadine, as I am reflecting on what you shared, I am wondering if there is a connection between balance and control. Does one strive for balance as a means to control his or her reality? Looking at my own life as an outside observer, it would seem that attempting to micro-manage every aspect of my reality is akin to trying to calm the sea, which is an impossible (and absurd) undertaking.

      Of the many gems you shared, there’s one that gave me pause, and it says: “Service to one’s family gives a lasting satisfaction that can’t be equaled. I guess that is a kind of balance.” That thought resonated with me because I view service as a gift that keeps on giving especially when it grows out of self-love.

      Thank you for adding such richness to the conversation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow. What a beautiful and kind comment. Thank you so much, you’ve made my day. And this: “Does one strive for balance as a means to control his or her reality?” Double wow. Feels like that should be a Ted talk. Thank you for your inspiring thoughts. Really happy to have found your blog.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a great post. I am always trying to balance a lot of things with my love for writing but I just got to figure something out. When you live something, it doesn’t matter when or how but you manage to create some time for it. That’s what is helping me do all that I need to do but discipline is still a challenge

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  6. Good for you–the success is well-deserved. Although I know too well the difficulty of working full-time and still trying to make space for the writing. I devote a lot of time on Sundays writing and catching up on friends’ blog posts and I’m lucky I have a spouse who also likes to do his own thing while I’m doing that!

    Liked by 1 person

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